Why Your Kids Don’t Obey You

19 10 2010

There was a moment last week that had me exasperated with my son Josiah. We were at the waterfront and getting ready to go back in the van to go home. He was trotting on past the van and not intending to stop. I called him. He didn’t even look back. I raised my voice hoping for a bite. Nothing. I raised my voice louder (thankfully the park wasn’t very populated at the time). Still nothing and he’s just getting farther away. So now, with my temperature rising, I run after him, catch him and firmly plant his little butt on the ground as a consequence. On the way over my keys fell out of my pocket. As I turn to go back and retrieve them, I notice a happy couple walking by. I think to myself, “Act cool,” hoping they didn’t notice anything ridiculous that I may have done. Needless to say, I felt a lack of confidence in my parenting, thinking, “Why won’t he just obey?”

I’m quick to admit that I don’t have all the answers to the many parenting issues that come my way. These moments certainly reveal that. One thing that helps me to put this into perspective is to put myself in my Heavenly Father’s shoes. Not that I really can get into His shoes, but you get the idea! I know He is constantly looking down at me with patience as I continually disobey. I guess that’s the journey for me and my family: learn to obey God, which leads to enjoying that fully satisfying relationship with Him. As we obey Him and enjoy Him, we can then also model for others, including our kids, that this kind of life really is the best kind of life.

You may find the following advice from iMom, called Why Your Kids Don’t Obey You, helpful in your pursuit of growing great kids:

“If you don’t clean your room right now, no video games for three months!”  Boy, that sounds tough, but come on; will you really follow through on a threat like that?  The bottom line is that threats don’t work.  Here’s what does – reality discipline.  In this week’s Learn A Latte, guest iSpecialist Dr. Kevin Lehman gives 3 ways to get your kids to mind you without resorting to yelling, or threats you won’t follow through on.His methods have worked in my house.  Now, instead of saying, “Andrew, if you don’t take a shower you can’t watch the game on TV,”  I say, “Andrew, you can watch the game after you’ve taken your shower.”  That puts the ball in his court.  I don’t have to keep pushing and threatening, and he has a clear idea of what he needs to do.Dr. Lehman also shares how to stop bickering in the back seat.  It’s a classic!
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