Habits are human nature. As the saying goes, “We are creatures of habit.” But habits, particularly family habits, direct the course of our lives. They take us places. Sometimes places we want to go, other times…not so much. Families that take the time to intentionally think through and plan their patterns and habits will be able to navigate better and influence the next generation well for the long journey. 

So let’s get disciplined and train our families with well thought-out habits. Here are four steps to make it happen.

…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-5

1. Identify Pain: There is suffering and there are trials in life. Good habits are an antidote to the chaos that sin brings into God’s world. Consider pain points in your family. Perhaps you are disconnected. Maybe your children are behind in their education. Consider patterns of misbehaviour and what that reveals such as lying or whining.  
2. Implement Training: When you have clearly identified a pain point in your home, use that starting place to blitz ideas or research possible good habits that will counter it. For example, the pain of loneliness might stir up desires to find ways to get more regularly connected at church. Or, too much screen time might generate an urge to block out some quiet time or schedule a board games night. Pick one and schedule it (daily, weekly, monthly, annually). Schedule time and place. Learn how to coach well. Plan to persevere.
3. Influence Growth: Once a habit is going, keeping it going is a struggle. But this is where character is formed. Be all in on what you decide. Review to make sure your framework in place will make the habit sustainable. Get buy-in from everyone in the family at a family meeting. Be aware of natural resistance to change. Build trust through positive reinforcement and meaningful attention and connection. Consider your use of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards, motivators and incentives.
4. Inspire Destiny: Hope is like a deep breath of fresh air. It fills us so we can keep going. One day, God will restore a New Heavens and New Earth. Until that time, good godly habits are how we partner with God in His restoration plan. Our families can provide fertile soil for planting and reaping good habit fruit. With every habit you learn, strongly answer the question of why you’re implementing it. Consider the impact on your peace and joy at home. Consider the character it will form. Consider long-term health benefits, financial benefits, educational benefits, spiritual benefits. Young children will have difficulty seeing the long-term, so that will mostly be for you. But as children grow, you can add more terminology and reasoning that will help them get over the hump of resistance. 

Identifying and coming to grips with pain and suffering is a driver for learning a new habit. Implementing a new training plan with a simple and actionable goal gets the habit off the ground. Steady, ongoing coaching and practice will sustain the habit and influence its growth. A sustained habit will shape who you become so continually inspire a hopeful destination.

Your kids need you. Lead them well by showing them how to form strong habits for life…no matter how often failure creeps in and how crooked the path may be.

Have you ever tried talking to children about Jesus being equal with God the Father and just ended up stumbling over your words? Then try saying that there’s a Holy Spirit too and he’s God, but there’s still just one God. Perhaps we can use words like these when explaining Trinity to children: “Thanks to Jesus Christ, we can have closeness with God the Father, by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Let your clarifications flow from this.

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Understanding God as triune is a non-negotiable dimension of the gospel.

-Stanley Grenz

…for through [Jesus Christ we] have access in one Spirit to the Father.”

-Ephesians 2:17-18

Epic Quest

Understanding the Trinity is a perplexing mystery and yet, it is a fascinating hope worth gazing on.

Consider the galaxy. It’s vastness overcomes our sense of wonder. But at the same time it continually draws us into a longing to discover every aspect of it.

The unity of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as three distinct persons is like this. Our little human minds fail to properly understand this God, but at the same time, we are fascinated with the pursuit of knowing God personally. The Trinity pictures for us unity, diversity, loving relationship, unique roles, one source of life and various expressions of life.

With children, however, the complexities of these thoughts can quickly be lost. As I recommend in another post, let’s keep it simple. But keeping it simple does not mean boring or dry. We can stir up children’s imaginations and propel them to want more.

Let’s send kids on an epic quest of endless discovery of their Creator, Lord and Best Friend.

Let’s break down my kid-friendly description of the Trinity: “Thanks to Jesus Christ, we can have closeness with God the Father, by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Thanks to Jesus Christ

Without Jesus (being God/deity, becoming human/humanity, bringing together/atonement, etc.) we can’t come to God. He makes forever friendship with God possible. He defeats death, which is the opposite of God who brings life to all things. He shows us what God is like. So we teach kids to thank Jesus for what he’s done for us.

Closeness with God the Father

God is Father to Creation, all-powerful, all-knowing and everywhere-present. We honour God to remember this. Furthermore, God is all-loving and endlessly kind. A simple way to start this conversation with children is to say, “God is great and God is good.” While God is super strong, he also wants to be crazy close.

Holy Spirit Power

The Holy Spirit gives us power to come alive. He connects us to the Father. He fills us with all godly things. He helps us live as God designed us to. He is not the force. He has much better power than that. So we teach children to want the power of God in them.

The Father creates life, Jesus brings back life and the Holy Spirit empowers life. God is all about life (one God). Each member of the Trinity shows off that life in different ways. Trinity: One God united and three diverse persons. This is over simplistic, but I find it helpful to say big truths in small ways and in many ways. Don’t lose sight of the Quest!

What are your own ways to speak of these big truths with your children?

Lord, I want to understand how you are one great God, and three distinct persons!

When God speaks, great things happen. Nothing impure ever comes from his lips. The universe is astonishing and it came into existence with his voice. Life comes from God. Not only does he give life, but he also cares about lives. Toby Mac has a great song called Speak Life. Each day we have God’s creative potential to speak life into the world. What will you create this week with God’s power? How can you forge something new with children?

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…See and experience the beauty of God through nature…”

-Ric Ergenbright, photographer

When I consider…the work of your fingers…what is man that you are mindful of him?”

-Psalm 8:3-4

Serving, teaching, raising and leading children using creation is a wonderful experience. Have you ever seen a young child react to new discoveries? The amazement on their face is contagious. Let’s consider how using creation with children can be a powerful reminder of God’s presence and activity in our lives. Let’s do a little life-giving CPR. Create, Pronounce, Recall.

Create

Experience creation with your children. There’s always something to share even if it’s dirt.

• Ask questions such as, “What do you see? No, really. What do you see?” Asking that question again promotes looking at what’s familiar from different angles to really perceive what your child is seeing. Good observation is an important life-skill.
• Use grass, sticks, acorns, flowers, etc. Use everyday materials and make something with them.
• Who needs play dough? (Although that’s an excellent creative tool). Take some dirt, add a bit of water and you have some wonderful mud to mold with.
• You can quickly grab your device and pull up a picture or prepare ahead of time to print off some larger pictures of landscapes, waterways or strange animals.
• Pictures can be used to set the scene of a Bible story or imagine a personal experience.

Pronounce proclaim

Let’s declare God’s greatness as we see all around us in his creation. Let’s talk about the life he gives all around us. Let’s speak life into the death we see. What I mean by this is that although God has created an astonishing universe, it is clearly marred by sin. This sin has brought death, suffering, sadness and pain. Kids feel it too. But we can be life-givers as we courageously speak hope into the world.

Do not despair. Whether you have a weekly small group on a Sunday morning or as you wake up with your tired littlest one at home, we have a unique opportunity to push aside the dirt to reveal a flower. We can pull back the curtains to show where there is light.

My front garden has beautiful yellow tulips in it. It’s almost as if they hide when it rains and when it gets dark. Are they afraid? Will they ever open again? Are they withdrawing from adversity? They close as a benefit to themselves. But then they open wide. It can be beneficial to close ourselves from difficulty to protect something valuable. But when we stay closed we miss what we are made for! Just like the tulip opens wide after the darkness or the rain, we don’t despair, but speak life and give life to those around us. Create something uplifting for someone else today.

Do you remember Gandalf riding Shadowfax toward the orc army? His staff raised with beams of light emanating from it? His light pushed back the darkness. That’s you. Your words speak life. Your words bring hope. Your delight is shared. Our God is still creating life today!

Recall

Now after you’ve drawn attention to creation, be intentional about what was seen and experienced. Use it to draw attention to the Creator. This highlights a huge difference between popular messages of naturalism and believe-in-youselfism. All power comes from God, not from “within”. All worship is directed towards God and not to ourselves.

I love to use creation when teaching about the Gospel. It’s a fast way to engage with children and you can do two things with it.

1. First, explore the wonder of original paradise.
2. Second, long for the restoration of original paradise.

The stories of the Bible can all draw us to this focus. There’s this massive gap that we live in between the two paradises. We see this often when discussing the wars, the fights or the hostility towards Jesus Christ. But we see glimpses throughout Scripture that God’s creative power is constantly at work and will one day cause our jaws to drop when we see the new heavens and the new earth.

Just like a little one who discovers something amazing and says, “Do it again!” we can choose to be continually amazed with God’s creative and life-giving power. Don’t let it get old!

Lord, show us your creative power again.

How have you used creation to remind children of the wonders of God?