3 Keys to Shaping a Child’s Character

Do you wish your kids would just get it?

When children don’t develop a desired behaviour, often a parent’s response is frustration, angry outbursts or even exasperation. “I’ve already asked you three times!” I have three teenagers. Saying “please” and “thank you” is still a work in progess! Grrr.

When you enter relationship with your child slowly, low and listening not fast, large and loud you pave the way for right character to form. (“For man’s anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” James 1:19-20). This is a prime component of my parent coaching approach.

Recently, I worked this through with parents of a one-year-old. They’re seeking to build habits and plants seeds that will produce lasting fruit. Another family I’m working with has identified a lot of ADHD. How valuable to develop a listening and slow to anger practice in the home!

One of the hardest parts of parenting is the character that God is forming first in US!

Our kids will mirror our modelling.

What if we shift our focus from managing behaviour to mentoring belief? We can hold to the core belief that God seeks to form His righteous character in our hearts. Our human anger won’t bring that about in our kids, but through authentic listening. Here are three memory keys to listening and mentoring belief well:

Connection over control

Our dominant control or force reduces the likelihood that our children will embrace the character that you’re hoping to be formed in them. Connective practices open pathways to the next two keys.

Coaching over complacency

Another approach parents may take is passive complacency. When that fails, parents will leak reactionary methods. What if we took on a proactive, intentional coaching and training approach?

Conversations over coasting

Disengaged coasting, drift or isolation will guarantee a decline in good character. Learning how to have healthy conversations reverses that trajectory.

How have you seen the benefits of these practices play out in your family?

Learn more about how parent coaching can benefit your family.

As a local and Canadian missionary, I want to see this kind of training go far and impact many in Canada. Your financial gift helps parents build peaceful connections, wisdom from thoughtful coaching and a sense of hope and wonder from curious and intentional conversations.

Let’s chat and make it happen!