Sonora’s Two Principles for Handling Bullies

16 02 2011

Sonora, my four year old daughter, came home from school awhile ago saying a boy in her class had hit her. Obviously, this bothered her some. I don’t know the severity of that exchange, but it’s worth considering. It could have been a hard hit out of the blue or a tap with noticeable anger. Bullying is a reality worse for some than others, but every kid will encounter it in their school experience. I don’t really consider this bullying, but it would be if it were pervasive.

On her next day of school she mentioned him again. Now, before we send her off to school we usually say a prayer. She mentioned that we should pray for this boy. She asked that God would help him not to hit her. I coached her along a little and suggested that she ask God to help her to be kind to him and she did. Simple and short, but yet a powerful refocus for the day. I didn’t think much of it until the end of the day.

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Chat Show (Vol.2, Iss.2): Bullying, Pets in Heaven, Aliens and More!

29 01 2011

I got some great thoughts and questions this week from kids in our church!


Why did the elephant cross the playground? To get to the other slide.


My friend’s family is going to a public school and they’re getting bullied. // Man, getting bullied is tough and watching your friend get bullied is tough too especially when you’re not around to help. Pray a lot for them that God would give them courage and that the teachers would also help. Even though it’s hard, remember that Jesus wants us to do good to those who hurt us. He also wants us to do what we can to help those who are being hurt.

I wonder when my other cat will die? // It stinks when pets die, but we can’t know when that will happen. I think God uses death to remind us that we really need Him! Read the rest of this entry »

An Unusual Perspective for Dealing with Bullies

10 09 2010

Seeing or hearing of children bullied and mistreated pains me. I know how a sensitive child can be easily taken advantage of. I was one. Nasty comments or simply perceived threats can cause deep emotional pain and leave scars that effect a person for the rest of their lives.

So what can children do when other children mistreat them? What can parents do to help them? I believe our standard comes from Jesus. He taught us to turn the other cheek and to do good to those who revile us. But He was no push over either. He stood up for truth with bold courage.

What if, instead of desiring revenge, children prayed? What if, instead of withdrawing in fear, children gave gifts? What if, instead of standing by and watching, children stood up for the victim? I suggest finding something special to give to the bully. It might be a treat or a small toy. This can be a symbolic act of forgiveness. It might simply be kind responses. Even if the bully laughs at the gift, it should still be given. Jesus gave His life and was and still is mocked for it.

I am certainly no expert on this issue. There are many great ideas out there (and some not so great ideas). I urge you to continue to look for wisdom on this subject. There is a link below for further guidance on this topic with additional resources. I also highly recommend Frank Peretti’s books called No More Bullies and No More Victims.

Now, I absolutely believe that children need adult advocates especially in situations where violence is happening. However, my principles have to guide me. Children must still learn to act like Jesus. This, of course, is not easy. But like all things that aren’t easy, if they are done in the name of Jesus, they are worth it in the end, that is, Heaven.

Go to Proverbs 31 Ministries for a great devotional on this topic and for resources to help you (including a book, a blog with tips and more). (Thanks for the link Steph! Check out her blog too.)

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