Dads, Consider the Impact of Availability – Desiring God.
Dads, don’t miss this article!
I’ve been thinking about my use of consequences as I parent and lead children. Consequences are a powerful motivator for making right choices and avoiding the wrong. So they are needed for guiding children.
However, there is a word of caution for relying solely on consequences. Relying on them is merely behaviour modification. This is actually damaging because simply changing behaviour is self-reliant and exterior. As parents who believe in and follow Jesus we know that we cannot save ourselves or grow our character apart from his redeeming and sanctifying work. We are not self-reliant, but Christ-reliant. And the way Christ works is by transforming the heart not putting a vain polish on our appearance.
We reap what we sow. If you plant a fern you will grow a fern. Likewise, if you sow anger you will reap anger. So as parents we can help children recognize the implications of their choices with appropriate consequences.
Tedd and Margy Tripp have written a book called Instructing a Child’s Heart. In it, I came across a quote that provides a solid distinction between the worldly approach to parenting called behaviour modification and the Godly approach they call biblical correction. They write,
“We do not depend on consequences to alter behavior. We want to train the heart of the child. In behavior modification, consequences are the means of shaping or manipulating behavior. In biblical correction and discipline, consequences are a means of demonstrating, in a sensory way, the importance of the spiritual consequences that are accruing in relationship to God, to others and to ourselves.”
Therefore, communication is vital for parenting. We can’t slap down consequences and expect children to turn out right. We have to do the hard work of explaining what Christ wants to accomplish in our hearts. The consequences are a way to help make that conversation happen.
Mars Hill Church | Luke’s Gospel: Investigating the Man Who Is God | Jesus and Children.
I’ve included a link here to some great preaching on how Jesus views children. Pastor Mark Driscoll mentions some good resources at the top and then opens up the Word from Luke 18:15-17.
How do you view children? Are they to be discarded? Are they merely an inconvenience? Are they a joy? Are they a nuisance? Do they have great value? Should they be ignored? Are they less important than what’s on your schedule? Can you embrace and welcome them? Your answers to these questions are critical to your faith and the faith of those little ones looking up to you.
Take a moment to consider your position. Then turn your heart to reflect Jesus’ heart for children.
Courageous – In Theaters September 30.
Looks like this upcoming movie will move fathers in the right direction. Click the link for more info.
Biblical Parenting: Some Tips for Helping Kids Deal with Anger.
If you or your kids are working through how to work the emotion of anger, you will want to check out this blog link. Short, simple and very practical, but also very Biblical. Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller specialize in parenting from a Biblical standpoint.
Be Adventurous « Be The Dad Today.
Go to Be the Dad Today to learn how to be an adventurous dad leading kids on a new adventure every day!
The free 30 page resource (linked above) is a helpful expansion to my previous post. It includes thoughts on pragmatic parenting, rules vs. attitudes, keeping it simple, key character traits and what to do when you think you’ve messed up or it’s too late.
The link above will lead you to simplifying your parenting focus, while keeping it centred on the Gospel. May your children flourish with love for God and others.